Main

October 28, 2006

Pray For Me

I'm going to be teaching in Ireland this week.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Of course it does, that's why I jumped at the chance. It's only now as I prepare a travel packet for tomorrow that a million little realities rear their ugly little heads. Did you know they that they drive on the left in Ireland? I'm sure you did. Did you know that they have traffic circles in Ireland? No big surprise. Did you know I'm going to have to drive left through traffic circles? I bet you didn't think about that.

If you never hear from me again, you'll know why.

October 3, 2006

An Important Life Lesson

I learned an important life lesson this morning: never park under a billboard. I did last night. While I slept, a flock of birds repainted my car.

Sigh.

September 7, 2006

Free As In MLM Pitch

Today at work we started discussing the unusually large number of multilevel marketing companies in Utah. I'm sure most people reading this post will have a story to tell. Some stories will include the ending of a friendship.

It doesn't need to be that way. When someone starts treating you like a resource, return the favor. When someone invites you to listen to an MLM pitch, invite them to buy you dinner at a nice restaurant first. Offer to invite friends and family. I'd be willing to join you. Might I suggest Thaifoon?

(Full Disclosure: I stole this idea from my co-worker Clint.)

August 10, 2006

Northern Nevada Road Signs

This is a response to Peter Abilla's post describing a trip though northern Nevada to Tahoe. Peter stayed the night in Battle Mountain but apparently doesn't know an interesting bit of its history. Back in 2001 the Washington Post declared Battle Mountain the armpit of America.

I'm sure they weren't happy about it, but eventually they must have accepted it because for a couple of years driving west to Battle Mountain there was a billboard that said:

Battle Mountain
Voted the armpit of America
by the Washington Post
"We didn't know you were looking!"

Don't believe me? Google has evidence that others have seen it too.

As for Lovelock, my mother has lived there for about six years now. Sadly, I can't provide much insight into the meaning of “Welcome to Lovelock. In Lovelock, we lock your love.”

I can only observe that small town will do strange things in the hopes of attracking tourism. After all, I lived seven years in a North Dakota town that thought a giant cement buffalo was a tourist attraction. (Yes, it is anatomically correct. Yes, brilliant pranksters occasionally think it the height of hilarity to make it look like the bowel system is also functional.)

July 27, 2006

Stylin' in Cali

It's good to be a Guru (Labs employee).

As a business traveller, I've learned that rental cars and the lottery have a lot in common. Although my office always reserves economy cars, about half the time I end up with something different because the agency overbooked. I've driven sedans, vans, SUVs and even a PT Cruiser. So far my favorites are the Dodge Charger, the PT Cruiser and the Chevy Cobalt LTZ I'm driving right now.

I've discovered I prefer small cars over SUVs, so it's not too surprising that I like my economy car this week. (The only time I've ever disliked a small car was the week I had an under-powered Kia to navigate the cloverleaves on the east coast.) Of course, my car this week doesn't have the standard package. It has a sun roof, a Pioneer sound system and either real leather seats or very convincing faux leather. It also has my favorite steering column layout: two buttons for the cruise and five for the radio, all on the steering wheel within easy reach of my thumbs.

I'm in Sacramento, CA this week and the temperatures have been consistently going above 100°. I enjoy the heat. I'm having fun driving around California with my sun roof open, my windows down, and my stereo unreasonably loud. There are few better ways to celebrate summer.

One perk of this job is eating at expensive restaurants regularily. However, I've discovered that there's a limit to how much steak one can eat before wanting a little variety. Last night as I was tooling around trying to find the radio station that made best use of my car's bass, I stumbled across a Trader Joe's and blew $20 buying dinner there. (Oh, how I wish Utah had a Trader Joe's! And a Fry's, and a Cheesecake Factory, and a J. Gilbert's, and a Legal Seafoods, and a World Market. Okay, technically Park City has a World Market, but that doesn't count.)

I suppose you could argue that's not a perk but a disadvantage. Working for Guru Labs I've discovered Utah doesn't have very many great restaurants, nor does it have some pretty cool stores.

Each training center I visit is unique. Some have special perks like fresh fruit or warm cookies in the afternoon. The training center in Kansas City has home cooked lunches. This training center has a slightly more unusual perk: free classic arcade games. During the breaks, I've been playing Arkanoid. Also among the arcade machines are such classics as Asteroids, Pole Position and Zaxxon. When I saw the Lethal Enforcers machine, I just had to take a picture:

Yes, that's Richard Dean Anderson sporting a gun and a killer mullet. It looks like he and I are both stylin' in California.

June 5, 2006

So, Uhm, Yeah...

After class last Friday, while waiting for the instructor PC to be re-installed, I decided to do a little cleaning. Which leads me to a couple of questions: What does it mean when a student brings a box of NoDoz to class? What if the box was never opened?